“House of Smoke.” A janky (for those who are civilized, janky means gross) building for those who smoke. A building with peeling white paint. A building on a busy highway corner just outside the city. A building on the corner where when you turn, you receive ten car horns blaring because you are jackass for stopping traffic for .3 seconds. A building on an entry way that has a pothole to warmly welcome you. Want some smokes to kill you from the inside out? HERE’S A FREE JOLT TO MAKE YOU SMACK YOUR HEAD AGAINST YOUR WINDSHIELD! Clearly this “House of Smokes” was built by geniuses…I mean who else would build a cigarette shop across the street from a classy dilapidating Gentlemen’s Club? The Gentlemen’s Club, built high into the sky with a crappy architect who clearly knew renaissance architecture, but also knew how much it cost and avoided paying it. The result? Cheap adobe exterior painted puke Pepto-Bismol topped with a horrid sign erected on the side of the street that reads, “Heavenly Bodies” illuminated with half broken or burnt out G lightbulbs….not that at 4pm you would even see the lightbulbs flashing.
It could be the “House of Smokes” that attracts the typical 5am driver….or even maybe the Heavenly Bodies palace. The typical driver could possibly be distracted by both buildings. However, the driver could also be distracted and chuckle at the fact that there is another building on the same corner; a restaurant that has a billboard, “DINNER WITH A VIEW”, pointing towards the strip club…*cough* I mean, gentlemen’s club.
However, there is yet one more building that can attract one’s attention. A wee little building, but a building that draws attention nonetheless. But, to clarify, it is more of a shack than a “building”. Actually….it’s more of a trailer….a half trailer…A trailer that has never been attached to anything and clearly never will be.
Why will it never be attached to a car? Why is there a trailer in this “House of Smokes” parking lot? Why is there only one girl working in this trailer? How many hours does this girl work? Why are there signs that claim this trailer to be called, “Twin Perks Coffee” but also “Twin Peaks Coffee”? Is there an illiterate human running this trailer coffee shop? Speaking of coffee….this trailer claims to have “authentic Greek Frap”….what’s Greek Frap because it sounds delicious and creamy. Driving by this trailer/coffee shop at 4:30am, why are they…or she…open so early? Driving by, I feel this need to know what Greek Frap is…I MUST KNOW.
Well….here the story begins…