Unemployment Is The BEST Thing That Ever Happened To Me


The last four years of my life I was a college student. I was a college student that embraced her college years far too easily… I went to a party EVERY day my freshman year, woke up claiming I would never drink again, then saddle up the keg to win longest keg stand of the night award four hours after my abstinence proclamation. I was a mess, but a hot drunk happy mess. I went to parties carrying bottles of champagne and poured it down strangers throats. I went to class and people knew my name because they always saw me at the previous night’s party and questioned how I made it to class…early??!! The past four years of my life were fabulous. I was like Samantha from Sex In The City having the time of her life and not having a damn to give.

But now I’m a graduate. I’m a college graduate. I have my BA in English Education, AKA I have a degree that sucks.

The day after my graduation I layed in bed with my blinds shut, ibuprofen, and a nice pack to cure my hangover I started filling out job after job after job application. I revamped my resume hundreds thousands of times, and cried. And cried. And cried. I stayed in my pajamas for 6 straight days. My mom begged me to shower none change my clothes. (Because as if being unemployed, living with my parents and being single weren’t bad enough…) So fine. I listened to my mother… Why are they always right?! And went and joined LifeTime Fitness. It’s $70 a month. My income is $0 year. All the financial advice Money Magazine has taught me over the years went down to toilet….with my savings account. So cool. I joined a gym. Then I received an email to work with a dietician to “Meet Your Weight Loss Goals in 2014”. I looked at myself in the mirror. Thought of my personal goal to become a vegan…remembered my bulimic past….and then threw down my credit card for $400 for four dietician consultations. CLEARLY my college education about finances fled the scene.

I am $1500 in the hole. I live with my parents. I am single. I have no job. God this is sounding like a beautiful application for match.com. Yet, I am not depressed. I have a long and dark past with depression….oddly at times that should have been my best years. By joining a gym, I have the energy to apply for jobs…and not doing a crappy job. Being unemployed means I have time to work out when I want. I’ve learned how to do a neck stand lotus pose for yoga, I’ve read too many classic novels to count, I’ve perfected how to give myself a manicure, I’ve helped clean my grandmothers house for an estate sale…… HOW DO I HAVE TIME FOR A JOB?!?

Being unemployed, I have found, is what you make of it.m obviously, I need a job but I also really WANT to work. However, in the mean time I’ll keep finding hobbies. #namastebitches


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